where were you when i needed you the most?!

significance; importance; love; care; concern; motivation; encouragement; praise; drive; hope; soulmate

all these are the things i really long for
even if it is a short moment,
i just wished i will have in possession of these.

but no matter how hard i try to smile
no matter how hard to try to give those stuff to others
no matter how hard i try to be a better zhenyi
it never happens

you guys never know how much i wanted someone to say this
'Zhenyi, if you're tired, tell me. i'll help you'
you guys never know what i'm going through
i dun say doesnt mean i dun feel it

i'm feeling tired, i'm feeling fatigue
i'm feeling all the sucky feeling anyone could feel at one go
can anyone lighten my burden

i have been holding back my tears
hoping that it will increase my time being happy
i've been doing great for the past few months
but now i cant seem to have the ability to.

my tears are getting more uncontrollable and it wont listen to my commands anymore

D.
where's all the promises you promised me?
about being by my side about knowing how i feel
i would feel much better if you had not made those promises
you know what?
i have been looking for you
but you have never turned back and look at me once
i have been working to hard to be stronger
worked so hard to add weight to my faith
worked so hard to run to a place where a different me stands
but instead of getting nearer, the place seemed further and further away from me