:)

Things i wanna do!

1) catch up with the following people
~ SILAS NEO
~ DANIEL CHAN
~ CRYSTAL CHIN
~ MANY MORE!!!

2) MUG MUG MUG!!!

3) SLEEP!!! i need it...

4) GET RID OF ALL THE STRESS! and bad luck

5) BE HAPPY!!!

omg! for the past 3 days this is what i did

wake up; school; project work @ hx place; mug; 2hrs of sleep; wake up; school; mug; RED BULL-ing; mug; go home; bathe; MUG; red bull; mug; 3hrs sleep; wake up half dead; school; mug; projects; go home; mug; 5hrs sleep; wake up; red bull again; school; projects like mad; mug; IG meeting; go home; die-ing in front of comp now; later, MUG!

how no life can zhenyi be...
well. this is what i must do to let people know im not worthless...

BYUL

the wind is shaking the windows,

and over my small room,

the stars fill up the sky,

shining brightly too many to count,

the stars reassure tired me

they wipe away the many tears that are deep inside me

don’t be hurt too much..
they hug me tight and pamper me
and comfort me,
telling me to go to sleep

though I’m exhausted to the point where I can’t walk
though my tears blur my vision
I’ll still smile in front of my love that I’m not able to get

Even though our happy times were short, I’ll treasure it deep inside my heart
like those countless number of stars, forever

My dream is coming.
though it is unusual that my one star is brightit is very bright, even blinding..
it comes down to my shoulder

stop being so sad..
it holds my hand as it touches me
and gives me a warm hug
though I’m exhausted to the point where I can’t walk
though my tears blur my vision
I’ll still smile in front of my love that I’m not able to get

Even though our happy times were short, I’ll treasure it deep inside my heart
like those countless number of stars, forever

Only for today, I won’t cry though my eyes fill with tears
I want to laugh like those stars
Oh~ I want to cherish all my happy moments deep inside my heart
Like those countless number of stars, forever

the wind is shaking the windows,

and over my small room,

the stars fill up the sky,

shining brightly too many to count,

the stars reassure tired me

they wipe away the many tears that are deep inside me

don’t be hurt too much..
they hug me tight and pamper me
and comfort me,
telling me to go to sleep

though I’m exhausted to the point where I can’t walk
though my tears blur my vision
I’ll still smile in front of my love that I’m not able to get

Even though our happy times were short, I’ll treasure it deep inside my heart
like those countless number of stars, forever

My dream is coming.
though it is unusual that my one star is brightit is very bright, even blinding..
it comes down to my shoulder

stop being so sad..
it holds my hand as it touches me
and gives me a warm hug
though I’m exhausted to the point where I can’t walk
though my tears blur my vision
I’ll still smile in front of my love that I’m not able to get

Even though our happy times were short, I’ll treasure it deep inside my heart
like those countless number of stars, forever

Only for today, I won’t cry though my eyes fill with tears
I want to laugh like those stars
Oh~ I want to cherish all my happy moments deep inside my heart
Like those countless number of stars, forever

ZHENYI!!! that i used to be...

I was thinking about the past
and all these came into my mind...

Where the hell is the ZHENYI i used to be

The one who laughed at herself when she needs to do stock-taking by herself for the whole of campstore

The one who cried twice during her first camp over strong characters campers and felt that she herself wasnt competent enough to be a trainer

The one who cried while looking at how campers praised her in the evaluation form when she herself felt that they have short-changed them

The one who have only 3 days to impact campers but dreamt to inspire each and everyone of them

The one who was capable of being the best trainer

The one who was seen as one of his four generals

The one who felt upset when she found out that they interpreted her that she'll leave this team

The one who got so addicted to camps till she was willing to do many back-to-back camps

The one who was not afraid of mula-ating herself in front of the whole camp cohort just to rah-rah them

The one who really found haooiness and joy out of packing the campstore

The one who really enjoyed preparing logistics and setting up the campsite

The one who was so tired that she practically slept on the bicycle track after signing campers' NYAA booklets

The one who cried after he screwed her up for screwing the programmes but recovered and went back to her ownself 3 mins later

The one who really screwed up programmes and teacher commented that she have low EQ but really tried to worked on it

The one who got so happy when campers asked her to sign camp booklets

The one who supported the campfire hosts and lead in the cheering during campfire but got so pissed off when campers dun co-operate

The one who learnt the chest clap within 10 mins and was so proud of herself for doing that

The one who imitated the ways different trainers walked when they were having abrasions

The one who really loved to be one of the nightwalk props even if she would have sandfly bites all over her body at the end of the day

The one who got sandfly bites ALL over her body during Ubin camp and can still laugh about it

The one who can stand not bathing for 5 days when she saw how dirty the water at Ubin was

The one who always say 'JI PA HOR LI CHEH' behind the campers' back

The one who scolded vulgarities softly when she got pissed by campers and swear loudly after camps.

The one who loves to belay people

The one who suspected that she got a stalker that stole her NIKE water bottle during one of the camps

The one who cried so badly when she was being pressured to settle all the questions imposed by him cause she was so stress and angry with herself for not doing a better job

Im a FOOL!!!!

I was a fool.

I was a fool.

My regrets were too late too.

I know that it can't be turned back.

I know that I can't see you too.

I was so wrong, I'm so sorry.

I didn't get to say then, instead I was just being rotten.

So I'm here now pleading for forgiveness with worry

I'm a fool

Because of my pride

I'm ruining myself with alcohol and the bitter taste of cigarette smoke.

I cry my eyes out all day because I still love you

You and I, we both are like fools.

Don't be like that, think about it.

Think about what it took us to get here

Think about it again, you're going to regret it.

I was so wrong, I'm really sorry I didn't get a chance to say then, instead

I was just being rotten.

So I'm here now pleading for forgiveness with worry

I'm a fool

Because of my pride

I'm ruining myeslf with alcohol and the bitter taste of cigarette smoke.

I cry my eyes out all day because I still love you

You and I, we both are like fools.

I can't live a moment without you.

I still cry even no matter how I drink or if I cut my hair.

I'm a fool

Because of my pride

I'm ruining myself with alcohol and the bitter taste of cigarette smoke.

I cry my eyes out all day because I still love you

You and I, we both are like fools.

Don't ruin yourself anymore...

updated post!!!!

haha!
for the past weeks i've been picking up lost items and returning it back to the people in-charge of whatever place.
1st- an i-touch outside com lab.
2nd- a wallet at yoshi

and know what?!
i was having dinner with wanqiu and wendy near wendy's and my house.
AND I LOST MY WALLET WITHOUT KNOWING WHERE I LOST IT!!!!!!!
hahah!
wendy and i tracked all the way back where we had walked.
BUT FOUND NOTHING

then we decided to go report to the police post nearby.
OMG we had a hard time explaining how my magical wallet look like cause that policeman got no fucking idea what's that! HAHAHA
then an eurasian couple came in reporting a lost wallet.
wendy and i was like: NEH THIS IS THE ONE!!!!!!!!!!!
hahahaah!

that is why i said i believed in karma!
no matter good or bad!

hahahah!~
another lucky thing happen ytd..
3 of us went to buy this scratchit at some TOTO place.
AND WE WON!!!!!... 3 bucks. hahahaha
1 dollar each! hahaahhah!
that's a good start mans!
we're so going to get one per week.
then one day we would happily win $60,000!!!!
HAHAHAH!!!!!!

went to ROMP'09 on saturday!
WOOHOO!!!
that was a BIG thing mans.
So proud of the organizers
hahah!
they even hired professional referees!

OMG! come to referees!
my referee was damn cute!
till now i still cant forget her mans!
hahah! omg! new eyecandy!
but the sad thing is i can no longer see her!!!!!!!!!!
SHOULD HAVE GOTEN HER NUMBER!!!!!!!!

wendy you must be laughing when you see this mans!
but she's damn HOT tell you!!!!!!!!
1st- you need to have an attitude to be a referee
2nd- you need to have the looks to have an atiitude
3rd- you need to have the shape that goes with your looks
OMG! SHE HAVE IT ALL!!!!

GOD ISNT IT GOOD TO BE ATTACHED?!

MIXTAPE for YOU :D

You say hello, inside I'm screaming I love you
You say goodnight, in my mind
I'm sleeping next to you
You drive away from my car crash of a heart
And I don't know

But you gave me the best mixtape I have
And even all the bad songs ain't so bad
I just wish there was so much more than that
About me and you

You talk to him, and it burns me like the sun
You talk to her, and you say that you feel like he's the one
I talk to me, but you can't hear the pain I feel
You don't know

Cause you gave me the best mixtape I have
And even all the sad songs ain't so sad
I only wish that there was more than that
About me and you

Oh, don't turn around and say bye again
Yeah it crushes my head when you call me
Your friend and I'm not the same person
From back in the day in the back of the class
That you thought was gay
No I can't find the words cause I lost them
The minute they fell out of my mouth
And it's love and I'm in it, so give me your lips
And just let me kiss 'em
And let's get messed up and listen to probably...

The best mixtape I have
And even all the bad songs ain't so bad
I just wish there was so much more than that
About me and you
About me and you
About me and you
About me and you
About me and you
About me and you

grow up

OMFG!
so this is the drastic action that will ruin ZHENYI's life
but dun forget zhenyi's not WEAK either.
I'm having a good life without you guys.

let me think what you're doing now.
you brain is working out another way to find trouble to 'ruin' my life
HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!
how PATHETIC can that be.
all i can say to you is GROW UP!
wait... you were saying who's the childish one?

the more things you do
the more i become stronger
so no point putting me down all the time
and crack your brains to think of new ways
cause there will always be a rainbow after the thunderstorm
so no matter how difficult my life is now
i'll still be able to live through it!!!

take care and GOOD BYE dude!

get away from my life!

but im still pissed abt what had happened for the past few days.
i still cant believe everything that had happen.
thanks for turning you back away from me so quickly
thanks for forcing me to be bitchy and a fucker
but you know what?
lesbians and gays are no different from those 'normal' people.
we can also strive and work hard
lesbians and gays too have feelings so dun ostracize us.
cause one day we MIGHT be on top of you guys.
I BELIEVE IN KARMA
i wont just give everything a damn.
its just a matter of time for me to get back
AND I WILL


i was so wrong to held on
and i HATE myself for holding
i should have let it go and stop myself from all these sufferings
i dun understand why am i so fucking affected by ALL of YOU
but i believe i can live without you guys haunting me!
i dun feel a need talking to you guys
and i hope i can get rid of you guys in my life ASAP


IM SO IN LOVE WITH THIS SONG!
haha! tongue tied mans!

Bright cold silver moon

Tonight alone in my room

You were here just yesterday

Slight turn of the head

Eyes down when you said

I guess I need my life to change

Seems like something's just aren't the same

What could I say?

I need a little more luck than a little bit

Cuz every time I get stuck the words won't fit

And every time that I try I get tongue tied

I'll need a little good luck to get me by

I need a little more help than a little bit

Like the perfect one word no one's heard yet

Cuz every time that I try I get tongue tied

I need a little good luck to get me by this time

I stare up at the stars

I wonder just where you are

You feel a million miles away

(I wonder just where you are)

Was it something I said?

Or something I never did?

Or was I always in the way?

(Was it something I did?)

Could someone tell me what to say to just make you stay?

I need a little more luck than a little bit

Cuz every time I get stuck the words won't fit

And every time that I try I get tongue tied

I need a little good luck to get me by

I need a little more help than a little bit

Like the perfect one word no one's heard yet

Cuz every time that I try I get tongue tied

I need a little good luck to get me by this time

I know it feels like the end

Don't want to be here again

And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again

What it takes I don't care

We're gonna make it I swear

And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again

Again

I need a little more luck than a little bit

Cuz every time I get stuck the words won't fit

But every time that I try I get tongue tied

I need a little good luck to get me by

I need a little more help than a little bit

Like the perfect one word no one's heard yet

Cuz every time that I try I get tongue tied

I need a little good luck to get me by this time

I know it feels like the end

Don't want to be here again

And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again

What it takes I don't care

We're gonna make it I swear

And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again

I need a little more luck than a little bit

Cuz every time I get stuck the words won't fit

But every time that I try I get tongue tied

I need a little good luck to get me by

I need a little more help than a little bit

Like the perfect one word no one's heard yet

Cuz every time that I try I get tongue tied

I need a little good luck to get me by this time

I know it feels like the end

Don't want to be here again

And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again

What it takes I don't care

We're gonna make it I swear

And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again

CAN YOU PLEASE TAKE A STEP CLOSER TO ME?

...

sometimes i really dunno if im needed.
there are times which i really cant hold up my promises
or even cant keep up with you guys.
but all i want from you guys is honesty.

if you've got anything you're not happy with just confront me.
dun do it behind my back.
when you do that i wont know what's the problem.
after reflection and assumption i still cant get the answer cause im not you.
UNDERSTAND?

and if you dun think im of great help then ask me to fuck off
dun hang me there like an idiot.
but remember we are a team
i dun want anything to happen to all of us...

im really trying my BEST to help and no one will know how helpless i feel nowadays.
the feeling's back.
the feeling so being a fucking ultimate freaking loser is fucking hell coming back again!
@#!$%^$()&#@$%!!!!!!

but know what?
this time it would be different.
cause over the years i've learnt to be more matured and of course BITCHY...
if you guys know me, zhenyi does not equal to bitchy.
but if the circumstances is pushing me to the wits end...
try me.

im not going to be the ZHENYI that always worry abt ppl and putting them before me.
im gonna live a i, me and myself life!!!!
fuck you if you've got anything to say!
and if you have do it in front of me!
if you got no courage shut your fucking mouth up!!!

for those who are innocent, sorry if you feel disturbed but...
this is MY blog and this is MY life.

guys, if you are trying to look for someone to replace me then give up now,
each and everyone of us are unique.
there are things she cant do i can
there are things i cant do she can.
if you guys trying to say all these SHIT just to make me regret my choice, then fuck you!
im no longer the naive zhenyi that will change her stand easily by your actions!!!!
im no longer the dog that will follow you everywhere you go!
and yar just continue to do things behind my back yar!
once i got enough of it i wont just give it a damn okay?!
JUST TRY ME ALRIGHT?!

haha! de-stressing!!!

warm up pic for all of us..

phishy photo :)

hahah! everyone's emo except me!

haaha! love this!

this is my favourite photo :)

disfigured TTM!

EMO!!!

ROWELL'S PREGNANT!!!

omg! we have twins!!!

ALIENS ATTACK!!!

that's all the rubbish we did AFTER our project.
note: that's after... we were serious during project work okay!!!
haha! i love the last three photos mans!!!
hahah!
i dun look fat in those 3 photos hehehe!

i love you and i hope you'll realise that soon...

whenever im tired, you'll come to my side.
whenever im sad, you'll always sorround me with your warmth.
no matter when or where, i always smile like this.
no matter how much troubles there are on earth, i'll never let you see my tears.
even if you dunno how i feel towards you,
even if from afar just let me see your smile and it'll make my day...

<3

OMG!
I had been having a project marathon for the past 2 days and this marathon will continue for the next 2 weeks!!!
haha! so tired...
reaching home 10 plus from school everyday..
that's my night life mans!!!
hahahahah!
know what?
ZHENYI has know her new target :)
hehehe!
that's a motivation for life mans!
LOVE IS IN THE AIR!!!
woohoo!!!
<3
who's that? FOR ME TO KNOW FOR YOU GUYS TO FIND OUT!!!
a clue for you: i havent seen ___ for today... :(

no matter what you guys gonna say... im just quitting.

FUNNEH DAY!

2 BOTAKS! can we perm our hair? haha!

JASMINE!!!

candice! my date for the day!!!


my hair seems so nice now...

:)


Group photo!

SANDRA BABY!!

Romeo & Juliet

what the hell is jasmine looking at?!

look at irene and sandra! so funny!

this picture was like meant for sandra and jasmine...

but fiancee and i just ran in to take with them!!

<3>

look everyone was so concerned abt how they look in the photo!!!!

ZHENYI THE GENIUS PHOTOGRAPHER!

BESTFRIEND, FIANCEE AND SAMA WITH ME!!!

Tako Yaki instead of birthday cake... 19!

Ah Bee+Zhenyi=PB!

haha

my FIANCEE!!!

wah! happy birthday to twins!

haha! 19 unglam photos of theirs!

GROUP PHOTO!!!

with 2 BOTAKS!

BOTAK!!!

OMG!!!!!

my dear shifu and jasmine shaved their hair!!

omg they look like butch now...

but the amazing thing is they are both straight!!!

haha!!!

hello meet darryl(furby) and javier(jasmine)!

and poor jasmine's friend got scared by her!

omg! she practically cried when jasmine went near her.

DAMN funny!

hahaha!

and CANDICE was my date ytd...

but she dint drive me around :(
i was so heartbroken till so she asked me out one day this week :)

hahaha!

we actually replaced a birthday cake with 19 tako yaki balls!!!

and we had pasted like 19 unglam photos of the twins on a straw board!

hahah so nice! cause is zhenyi make one...

today i was walking around the whole school with this board to advertise for HTMIG event HaTaMa sports...

omg! its malu-ating TTM!!!

i dun mind walking ard in STC

but this is Temasek Poly!!!

LOSE FACE LOSE FACE...

after that i went sugar loaf to eat... urm quite disappointed.

cause like the whole world says its nice but for me its otherwise...

KWA LIANGHAO!!!
dun make ZHENYI worry for you please!!!
Better take care of yourself.

:)

when my sky eventually falls PLEASE be there to hold on there a lil while longer...

i have always love this phrase ever since this person told me this:
WHEN YOUR SKY FALLS I'LL BE THERE TO HOLD IT UP FOR YOU!
and that person is none other than my bestfriend cum laogong cum i-dunno-what...
DANIEL CHAN
THANKS LAOGONG!!! I LOVE YOU TTM!!! <3

DARN TIRED DAY...

OMG!
im like damn tired today!
but it was fruitful though :)
hahaha! had an event at vivo...
volunteered to help Joyce for Singapore Heritage Fest
learnt loads abt different ethnics' wedding :)
Chinese... Indian... Malay... Western... and Nonya...
SO MANY DIFF TYPES!
and i know to know like everything to be able to teach the passer-by and interested ppl abt it...

felt such a great accomplishment after this event.
BUT IM DARN TIRED NOW!!!!

haha!
and know what?!
it will be the twins birthday in 1hr's time!!!!!!!!
WOOHOO!!!

HAPPY ADVANCE BIRTHDAY TO
TAY ZHAO KAI !!!!
TAY ZHAO XUAN!!!!

nonsense from CLIQUE :)

OMG OMG OMG!


i just remembered something damn funny...

this happen like few YEARS ago in STC one day during recess
as usual... we were seating down at the flag raising area...



CRYSTAL CHIN: Liling what drink you wanna drink?
LILING: No i dun want... No money!
CRYSTAL CHIN: I treat you lar! WANT ANOT!!!
LILING: I DUN WANT... ice lemon tea...


HAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!! how irritating can liling be at times huh...
but what to do? we just LOVE her!!!!!!! hahaha <3



but know what?
this is the USUAL thing in our clique...

being pissed off for nothing...

OMG!!
Im damn fucking pissed off!!!
i cant seem to upload all the photos taken during TRICIA'S birthday!!!!!

RAWR!!!

can anyone tell me what's wrong with this freaking thing?!
ok im like an idiot being angry with a liveless laptop
alright tmr im like going to school for a 2 hrs lecture then BREAK from 1pm to 6pm
after that I'll be having HTMIG meeting and then we'll reveal our ANGEL and MORTAL!
WOOHOO!!!

haha! tell you guys a secret.
HELEN TRIED TO UPLOAD PHOTOS ALSO CANNOT!!!!!!!!
hahah! i thought blogger dun like me!
BLOGGER DUN LIKE HER TOO!!!!!!!!
MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

okay im not pissed anymore... :)

Twins' parTAY!

HEY BABES AND DUDES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The twins' parTAY is confirmed!

Venue: JUST ACIA@ dhoby xchange
Date: 5th JULY 2009
Time: 7 pm sharp!!!!!!!!!!

Bring along a gift ribbon!

those who have received my text PLEASE reply!
those who cant make it on time just give me call and we'll wait for you guys cause i want EVERYONE to be there for the cutting of cake
those who have friends joining us please inform me by saturday so i'll be able to reserves seats.

please communicate with me through texting me :)

thank you and God bless you!

STRENGTH!

zhenyi had not been doing what she's suppose to do for the past few weeks
and its time for me to CHIONG!
haha
but i cant seem to find my motivation and drive anywhere...
SOMEBODY GIVE ME SOME STRENGTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!