FRIEND?!

know something?
im utterly disappointed in you guys...

hahah! you think you guys have passed the age then can fool ard?
hah!
you have change super TTM till i dun understand you!
i dunno you..
if you realised you guys have been very surface with me
so i too will too treat the same way as you did...


i mean you dun even take me serious whenever i talked to you...
so from now on i shant say anything..
THANKS for making me feel like a fool...

THANKS MY FRIEND!!!

A letter to A

Im not gonna say who A stands for cause its meant to be secret but hose who knows about both of us would know... she herself would know im implying to her....

its been 3 years since the days we were happening... Still remember you told me you broke up with her because of me... I mean im not thinking too much right? cause if a person were to say that to anyone, it means she/ he likes that person... Plus you did things that even a girlfriend wont do. Accompanying me to training during holidays was the happiest times i had. knowing that you were looking at me made me wanna work even harder.

It made me happy when you said you like the way i played basketball. it made me feel so much better with you looking at me... but it made me sad when you're emo... felt even worst when you told me age is the only barrier between us... you are only 3 years older than me... perhaps it is because you're OLDER. but i've always thought age wont be the problem between us... the only problem was the love you had for me...

i always thought that time would show you that i am mature enough to take this relationship but... it only shows that we cant be together... to let you know how much i love just wasnt my forte. the hints i dropped werent obvious enough. but till now, although time will slowly make us forget about each other you're still the only one in my heart and im sure you know that... i thought time would gradually make me forget about your existence... but 3 years later you contacted me again. the hope of bith of us to get together grew stronger... so much stronger that i could get the courage to say i love you.

But the thing is you have moved on... but thanks for bringing me happiness for the past few months of contacting me. you wont know how happy was i to wait and receive your texts... i guess its time for me to move on too... its difficult but life isnt easy in the first place...

I often wondered if i werent in my hostel at that time would you be attached to me... if i were to work harder to become a better person would you fall in love with me again... but its no use talking abt it now cause you've got a happy relationship and no longer feel that much for me...

But i still wanna tel you I LOVE YOU A... and i hope that you'll regain your courage that you used to lack in. Dun hurt yourself when you're emo cause that will hurt me too... forget about me but dun for get about those happy times you have had to keep you strong.. i'll learn to let go cause this is the one and only way to show my love for you...

who's the hottest?!

wanqiu says that she's a HOTBABE!
but i think her house no mirror...
but wendy say her house very hot
so ZHENYI AND WANQIU CLAIMS THAT THE REASON IS THEY'RE HERE...
but the hottest is hotbabeCHEN!
know who is she?
the one on the right !
hahahaha!

ZHENYI JUST GOT HER NEW HAIRCUT!
and she love it to the core...

(L)

OUR POM PROJECT!!!

this is the video we did for our project :)

OMG! damn funny right!
and ruby now thinks that the ribena lemon is our token of love!
(see the last scene)



this is the NG part

its damn FUCKING funny when we present it to our class for our POM (principles of management)

but well we got quite high so it was worth it!
but i would always be remembered for the ribena that fell in love with the lemon (ruby)

hahaha! i actually kind of miss the times i did all the project and stuff...
hahah!

TO ALL MY TEAMMATES FOR ALL THE MODULES:

thanks alot for tolerating my bad temper and sorry for letting you guys feel stress while working for me
thanks for covering my part of work while i was MIA-ing
and thanks for not marking me down for peer evaluation...
thanks for giving me the chance :)
I LOVE 1H05 ttm!

dont say goodbye

cant meet your eyes

not able to read you

like a kid who lost its way

just waiting

the truth is

i know what words to speak

its not sincerity, its suspecting

tears are talking

dont say goodbye

hear the heart that

doesnt let go of this hand

i hear your heart

you still want me right?

you cant hide

you cant lie right?

cant allow

this separating lie

look me in the eyes and say

it is not, it is not sincerity

dont say goodbye

hear the heart that

doesnt let go of this hand

i hear you heart

even if the world part from us

even if they say its a hard love

you are my love

you are my soul

dont say goodbye

dont leave me now
the promise shared together is everything for me

dont say goodbye

you are my everything to me

my exhausting day will be forever searching for you

i will love you like a never withering spring

cause you are my everything to me

cause you are my everything to me

THANK YOU~

Thank you..
For staying by my side
Nervous..
Walking this road with you

I love u..
The awkward words that I want to say in front of you
Be blessed..
I must let u live well

Sorry..
For meeting someone like me
Painful..
I’m still lacking in many ways

I will be by your side until the end
I will protect the beautiful you

I pray not to release this hands even if I die
I promise to walk with you until the end of time
Because the extreme love
can be worn out of time
I vow to keep the beautiful memories
And even the days that we cried

Sorry..
For not able to be better
Painful
That I am always lacking in some ways

I will protect you until the end even if it’s hard
I will protect the beautiful you

I pray not to release this hands even if I die
I promise to walk with you until the end of time
Because the extreme love
can be worn out of time
I vow to keep the beautiful memories
And even the days that we cried

Only you can forgive my heart
Even though I am imperfect
Even though I am lacking in many ways
I sincerely want you

Even if the days of difficulties were to come
I will not release the two hands that I hold until the end of time
Because the extreme love
can be worn out of time
I vow to keep the beautiful memories
And even the days that we cried

THANK YOU....
FOR STAYING BY MY SIDE

HAVE YOU EVER?!

Have you ever loved somebody so much

It makes you cry?

Have you ever needed something so bad

You can't sleep at night?

Have you ever tried to find the words

But they don't come out right?

Have you ever?

Have you ever?

Have you ever been in love

Been in love so bad

You'd do anything

To make them understand?

Have you ever had someone

Steal your heart away?

You'd give anything

To make them feel the same?

Have you ever searched for words

To get you in their heart

But you don't know what to say

And you don't know where to start?

Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry?
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night?
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right?
Have you ever?

Have you ever found the one

You've dreamed of all your life?

You'd do just about anything

To look into their eyes?

Have you fin'ly found the one

You've given your heart to

Only to find that one

Won't give their heart to you?

Have you ever closed your eyes and

Dreamed that they were there

And all you can do is wait

For that day when they will care?

Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry?
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night?
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right?
Have you ever?

What do I gotta do to get you in my arms, baby?

do I gotta say to get to your heart

To make you understand

How I need you next to me?

Gotta get you in my world

'Cause, baby, I can't sleep

Have you ever loved somebody so much

It makes you cry?

Have you ever needed something so bad

You can't sleep at night?

Have you ever tried to find the words

But they don't come out right?

Have you ever?

Have you ever loved somebody so much

It makes you cry?

Have you ever needed something so bad

You can't sleep at night?

Have you ever tried to find the words

But they don't come out right?

Have you ever?

Have you ever?

trip to ION!

I WENT TO ION TODAY!!!!!!!!!!
with tq, hy and alvin...
hahaha!
no one can laugh at me like the way THEY did abt ILUMA!!!!!
well i guess im the last few to know about the exist of iluma...
eh! but i went in before ok!
HAHAHAH

and amelia is right...
our 'type' is only from B1 to B4
any above...
you guys will know when you guys get there!
hahah!
but i dun like ALVIN!
he classify all those stuff i like as clothes that mads wear...
like what the?! OMG!!! he claimed that topshop and pull and bear is very malay-ee...
Alvin this is when you're wrong!!!
HAHAHAAH

If i let you go

Day after day
Time pass away
And i just cant get you off my mind
Nobody knows, i hide inside
i keep on searching but i cant find


The courage to show to letting you know
I've never felt so much love before


And once again i'm thinking about
Taking the easy way out


But if i let you go i will never know
What my life would be holding you close to me
Will i ever see you smiling back at me?
How will i know
If i let you go


Night after night i hear myself say
Why cant this feeling just fade away
There's no one like you
You speak to my heart
Its such a shame we're worlds apart


im too shy to ask, im too proud to lose
But sooner or later i gotta choose
And once again im thinking about
Taking the easy way out


But if i let you go I will never know
What my life would be, holding you close to me
Will i ever see you smiling back at me
How will i know
If i let you go

If i let you go oh baby
Once again im thinking about
taking the easy way out

Oooooooooohhhhhhhhh

But if i let you go i will never know
how my life will be holding you close to me
will i ever see you smiling back at me
how would i know

But if i let you go i will never know
How my life would be holding you close to me
Will i ever see you smiling back at me
How would i know
If i let you go?

im so addicted to this song now thanks to lianghao...
but i love it mans!
thanks i THINK i know what you're trying to convey to me :]

how do i expect people to love me when i dun even love myself...

for the past 2 days i have been working like damn hardworking-ly...
haha!
too bad for those who thinks that i cant live without my previous job...

just got home bathe (i mean really bathe and not shower cause im at pepper lunch the whole day!)
and i went to read lianghao's blog

LIANGHAO IM DAMN FUCKING PROUD OF YOU...
for the past 18 years of my life circumstances made me feel difficult to love people...
or maybe difficult to show them how much i love them...
even in relationships... they often quarrel with me abt me not loving them enough

you see my parents and i are damn fucking not close..
i mean if we were to walk on the streets, with them walking in front and me following at the back, no one would know we are a family...
but if one of them would to leave me.....
i got no fucking idea what i would have become...

but the condtradicting thing is both of them including my brothers 'threw' me into the TENT (the hostel i talked about previously..)



i told myself that if they were to come back into my life i'll hate them TTM!
but when they were finally 'back', i found it hard to face them or even talk to them...
relationship became very on-the-surface
no one could blame me for doing all these rebellious stuff...
cause the more rebellious i get the more they wont want me as their daughter...
this was what i thought...

haha! but as i grow older i thought its a chore to hate them...
but i still cant bring myself to love them...
i mean i dun we even know how old are they, when's their birthday and stuff...
haha! what a failure daughter right?!

and i suddenly rmbed something my principal said when i got caught for my hair...
she said this 'how do you expect ppl to love you or you to love ppl when you dun even love yourself?!'
how true can that be...
i dun even have the courage to love myself...
to trust myself that no matter what i do its for my best...
daniel once said that i must learn to think more for myself...
perhaps he's right to think for myself=to love myself more.
but how?
no one has ever taught me how to...

maybe i should just stop emo-ing...
thats the first step to love myself :]
to stop my heart from bleeding AGAIN